Okaaaayyyy...

HELLO HELLO HELLO~~ S' been quite a while since I've blogged. I've deleted the cbox. -.- Cos I dun wanna anymore ads coming to spamm my inbox. [I dun even know how they got here ONE BY ONE.] Yes, I've been in Tumblr the past....few months? ^^''' I felt it was also better that I stopped ranting stupid stuff here too, I really dun wanna offend ppl with my thoughts and stuff, so yeah you get my point. Oh yar, I'm gettin baptised this Sunday after service yo!! Heh heh, I have the chance to change my ic name to "Venessa Lim Xiao Shi" 0nce I get the baptize cert. But of course its not just cos I get to change my name so I went to sign up for baptism!!! That'll be so wrong... .____. But speakin of church, I feel like I'm gettin bad to worse. I just can't talk to cgms... Most of you good buddies know that I'm someone that likes to talk & fool around, tryin to make ppl laugh but in cell & church its like, I'm a cold dude. Yes, I DO try to talk but erm... The stuff my cgms talk about; I have no idea what they're talkin most of the time. Even if its about Kpop, I just stand by their side with a: O_________O face superglued to my face. >.< Makes it more hard to try to communicate with them... The only times I find myself being able to talk to them freely is when the subs about me. I dun like that. I don't wanna to talk just about me. I wanna be in a conversation that I can understand what you're talkin about so I can join in the chat... But most of the time, even if I did join in the chat... Its like I'm being a total extra person there, no one's listening... This is freakin damn tiring... PY said I would bond well with them even if she's not there but damn! So many times I felt like begging her to come back & tell her I'm literally suffering there whenever fellowship starts. But, I just hate the feeling of forcing my friends to do stuff they dun wanna do whats more, I can't help feeling that cell's already forgotten about PY & Kim. & URGH, DAMMIT. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER??? There's so many yellow lines in my screen!!!! DDDDDDDDDDDDDD;